JOKE TIME EXPRESS: Volume 10

Loi: Hon, call the police by dialing 117. 

A robber is taking our valuables away.
(robber went off their valuables.)
LOI: Oh, hon! The robber is gone! 

What took you so long to dial 117?
ERAP: Dear, sabi mo dial ako 117, nasa 85 pa lang ako!

oOo

(There were 3 guys named Manners, Shutup and Crap.)

One day, they decided to run a race. 

During the race, Crap fell down, and Manners stopped to help him. 

But shutup ran so fast the police caught him.

Police1: What’s your name?
Shutup: Shutup.
Police2: Where’s your manners?
Shutup: Back there picking up Crap!

oOo

  Joke: A Pinoy cannibal was walking thru the jungle 

and came upon a restaurant owned by a fellow canibal. 

Feeling hungry, he sat down & read the menu:

adobong pulis 150 pesos,
nilagang doctor 170 pesos,
pritong guro 120 pesos,
inihaw na politico 800 pesos…

Customer: bakit mahal ang inihaw na politico?
Owner: kasi sa sobrang kapal ng balat… MATAGAL LUTUIN!

oOo

Husband: Whenever I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset. 

How do you control your temper.
Wife: I just go and clean the comfort room.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.

 oOo

ANGRY BOSS: Have you ever seen a stupid-idiot-fool?
EMPLOYEE: (Looking Down) No, sir…
BOSS: Don’t look down. Look at me!!!

oOo

A magician has hypnotised his entire audience. 

They are willing to do whatever he tells them to do. 

Unfortunately, the magician trips over the microphone cord, 

lands on his ass and says, “Shit!” 
 

Do You Want to Gain Financial Wealth and Spiritual Abundance at the Same Time?